Serenity’s Soul
January 17, 2010
Dear Serenity’s Soul,
I have never known darkness to be as heavy as it feels at this moment in my heart. If only you could have seen her through my eyes, If only you could have heard her voice through my ears, If only you could have felt her touch when she gave me the only motherly hug I have received from her in years. Yes, tonight I saw my mother. I was leaving the restaurant when I heard a somewhat distant sound. At first, I didn’t stop because I wasn’t sure that it was my name. But, then, I heard it clearly….
“Monica.”
I stopped and suddenly turned around. My hair was in my face, so I had to brush it back with my hand a bit. Then I saw her coming slowly out of the shadows into the light. The light was not kind to her. It revealed every flaw she ever possessed, and I was devastated to know that this woman was my mother.—But she was.
“Mom?” I muttered, hoping that it was not her…hoping that this woman was just some other person I had met in my past.
“Hello, Monica.”
She came closer to me. Her clothes were torn and shabby. Her hair was tangled. She didn’t have any make-up on, and her face was dull and sad.
“How are you, Monica?”
Her voice made me feel a certain depression in my heart. “I’m ok, Mom.”
“That’s great, Honey. I am glad to hear that.”
I didn’t want to, but I had to ask “How are you, Mom?”
She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “Ok, I guess.”
For a few seconds, we just stared at each other.
“Monica, I really need some money.”
I felt so empty inside. I couldn’t help her. I really didn’t have enough money to take care of myself.
“I really don’t have enough money to take care of myself though.”
“Monica, please, just a few dollars—just something, Honey.”
“Mom, I don’t have anything.”
Then she suddenly turned into some evil force of nature.
“Really? You really don’t? You didn’t make any tips tonight? Is it that you just don’t want to help your own mother? I may not look like much, but I am your Mother and nothing can change that!”
“Mom, Stop it! Just stop.”
I really didn’t have much, but I reached in my pocket and gave her what little I was allowed to take home from my tips. She took it from me, gave me a deep look, and then just put her arms around me.
“I love you, my sweet girl, I really do.”
Tears came out of my eyes as she let go of me. I didn’t say anything back to her. I just watched her walk away from me. I just watched her vanish with what little money I had. That moment brought back everything in my childhood…every miserable moment. She, Laura Corbin—my mother, owes me. Somehow I just know that I’ll see her again, and when I do…She will not have to repay me with money…..but with answers.
Goodnight,
Monica
