Serenity’s Soul
February 18, 2010 (Afternoon)
Dear Serenity's Soul
It seems like it took forever to get here. Landon was telling us stories about his family, and then we joined in with personal stories of our own. Mocha was restless in the car, so we had to stop several times to let her walk around. Actually, I think that was just an excuse. Perhaps we all needed to walk around a bit. I finally just decided to take a little nap, but that little nap turned into quite an adventure underneath closed eyes. I went everywhere in my mind and journeyed through the land of memories I thought were lost. I could hear my father’s laughter. I could see his smile as if he had never left, as if he was always just a simple phone call away. Oh, I could hear his voice.
Then I heard the car door shut, and I woke up.
“Monica, we’re here.” My mother said to me through the rolled down window.
I slowly sat up and looked around a bit, then opened my door. “You stay here, Mocha. We’ll be back shortly.”
Mocha is a patient dog, so I had no doubt that she would be okay, but if we were not finished soon enough…I’d come back to check on her. As I got out of the car, I took a deep breath. Landon, my mother, and I just looked at each other for a short second. I held tightly to you, because I knew that you had to come with me.
“Well, this is it.” My mother said in a rather nervous way.
Together, we all stepped forward until we reached the entrance of the building. As we walked in, I felt everything within me pause—my thoughts, my happiness, my sorrow—I didn’t know how or what to feel. I just knew to keep walking.
Landon led us to the front desk. “We’re here to see Steven Corbin.”
The lady remembered Landon from his previous visit.
“And these are the two you said you’d be bringing with you? His former wife and his daughter?” The lady asked.
“Yes, this is his family. We are his family.” Landon answered.
“Well, only one of you at a time are allowed to see him when you come in a group like this. Mr. Corbin is reportedly not feeling well today. His therapist will have to be in the room with you during your visit.”
We all briefly looked at each other before Landon answered, “That’s fine. It’s just them that will be visiting him today.”
“Well, have a seat, and I will let you know when he is ready.”
We all said, “Thank-you.”
We only sat there for about fifteen minutes, but fifteen minutes felt like an entire day until….
“Mr. Corbin is ready for visitors. Which one of you would like to go first?”
My mother and I looked at each other. “Go first, Mom.”
She took a deep breath and slowly got up. The nurse led her around the corner into a room, and then she just disappeared…..into the presence of my father. I was silent.
“Would you like a cupcake?” I heard in a distant part of my mind.
I turned to Landon with a blank stare on my face. “Huh?”
He laughed a little. “They sell cupcakes down the hall. You haven’t eaten. Would you like a cupcake?”
“Oh, um, no…no. I’m okay.”
“You’re nervous, huh?”
“Yeah. I haven’t seen my father in years. He has always been a part of my life that has meant so much to me. It hurt not having him around. I don’t know what to say to him.”
“Well, say what you just said to me. Sometimes, you do know what to say, you just don’t want to say it. Say it anyway.”
“Why are you always so calm? It’s like you always know what to say and do.”
That comment made that smile of his appear on his face. “Not really. This is something I wanted to happen in my life, so I am willing to make sure it is successful.”
Then he paused for a second. “You know, I was talking to my parents. They have found a house where the two of you can live. You’ll probably want a place of your own, but this is a start. My parents have offered to help you get an education, and my organization has some job openings.”
“This is too much, Landon. This is too much to ask.”
“You’re not asking. This is something we are offering to you to help you be who you are meant to be. Everyone should be who they are meant to be, Monica. This is your chance, and I would be honored if you would accept the help.”
How could I not accept his help? This was a great new beginning.
“Okay. Thank you so, so much.”
He smiled, “You’re welcome. Now, I think that dog of yours needs someone to check on her, and maybe bring her a little something to eat and drink. So, I’m gonna do that. Will you be okay by yourself?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I will.”
Then he got up and went his way.
Right now, as I sit here writing this to you, I feel as if all of this is some sort of dream come true. No matter how life may seem in the beginning, and even in the middle, you can never predict the ending. You really don’t know about your next minute in life. I never would have imagined the things that have happened to me that led me to this point.
Never.
And now…..
Now my mother is back. My mother is back and I can tell she has been crying. I don’t know if they are happy tears or what, but she says……
She says, “Go and see your father, Monica, he is waiting.”
My father is waiting for me.
Monica
