Serenity’s Soul
February 16, 2010 (Night Time)
Dear Serenity’s Soul,
I slowly walked out of my room with Mocha in my arms into the kitchen where my mother, Francis, and some other women were standing and smiling at me. Stacey was just sitting at the table looking curiously around the kitchen.
“Your older brother, Landon, has returned early with some news. He would like to meet you, Monica. He is outside on the front porch.” My mother said with excitement.
I just stood there.
“Monica?” My mother called to me as if to try and rescue me from my daze.
“Monica, go out there and meet your brother.” She said.
I slowly handed Mocha over to her and turned towards the door. As I hesitantly put one foot in front of the other, I thought about my entire life. My mother, my father, my boss at the restaurant, my co-workers, Mr. Papa, all of these women in this house, Stacey, Mr. Lee and his wife at the grocery store, and yes—even Mocha. They flashed through my mind because they have all been pieces of this puzzle called my life in one way or another, and here it is….here it is that another piece of this puzzle is about to be added. The only difference is, this piece of the puzzle carries the possibility of making this puzzle closer to being finished than it ever has been before. What will it offer?
I opened the door and walked outside.
A young fellow with dark hair, and big promising brown eyes stood up and greeted me.
“Hi.” He said with a smile on his face.
I was shy, surprised, and nervous. “Hello.”
“My name is Landon. Landon Goldberg.”
I just smiled. I knew he already knew my name. “Well, I’m Monica.”
We both just laughed a little, and he motioned for both of us to sit down.
“It’s good to finally get to speak with you, Monica. I am happy about this. I have been searching for my real family for quite some time now.”
I looked at him and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. “I didn’t know you were out there, Landon. You see, we all were separated, and I wasn’t told anything. You don’t know how glad I am to see you too.”
He smiled. “I hope I didn’t scare you too bad when I came to your apartment building.”
That was the perfect spark to ignite the fire of curiosity.
“Well, I was quite surprised. I mean, I didn’t know you. I didn’t know anything about a tall, dark haired, young fellow that would pay my bill for me.”
He laughed, and his sudden burst of joy made me laugh also. “I kind of do things awkwardly, I know.” And then he paused, looked down for a minute and then looked back at me….seriously. “I wanted to know my family. Don’t get me wrong, I have two excellent parents. My father is a surgeon and my mother is a teacher. They have provided me with a wonderful, loving home and a great education. They were unable to have children, so they adopted me, my two younger brothers and our younger sister. We came from different backgrounds, from different cultures, but we all love each other the same. We are a close and happy family. It’s just that, I wanted to know who brought me into this world; whose blood is flowing through my veins. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I wanted to know who I really was. So, I started searching for my family when I was twenty years old. It was difficult. It was difficult to find records of things. Years started to pass, and I kept following dead ends. I was disappointed and discouraged, but I couldn’t give up. I decided to start an organization that is a support group for adopted kids that may have the same feelings I have had. So far, a lot of people have been helped. I was encouraged to continue my search. No one seemed to know much of anything until some old records showed that I was born in this little town to Steven and Laura Corbin. I came here, and it was still difficult. However, one place led to another, and well…I found this little house belonging to the lady Francis. After explaining to her who I was, she seemed to be familiar with my story. She fed me, and then she told me that Steven, Laura, and their young daughter, Monica, had been gone for years, and that they owned a restaurant in the big city. So, back to the big city I went…searching for all of you. It took forever to get to the right part of the city only to find out that you guys were scattered. No one knew where Laura and Steven were, but someone remembered you.”
I was puzzled. “Someone knew me? Who?”
Well, when I found the old restaurant still in business, I went in to ask about the first owners. The guy told me that he didn’t know about them anymore, that the last he heard was that ‘the girl’ was working at the fancy restaurant down the street. I went there and asked questions. After a little monetary bribery, your boss told me where I could find you. I waited for two days though. I didn’t quite know what to do or what to say if I found you. To be honest, I was afraid. But, I gathered up the courage to find you. I went to your apartment building and met the old man there. He told me about your situation, and I wanted to help…just in case you were really Monica Corbin, my sister. I needed you to be able to stay there. I had to leave to get back to some business with my organization, and I should have left a message for you…but, …I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t think clearly, and I really thought you would be there when I returned. But, you were gone. I went back to your boss, and he said you didn’t come to work. Everything about you had vanished. I thought maybe you just moved somewhere else in the city, so I looked all over. No one knew anything. The only thing I knew to do was to go back to Francis, and to my surprise, the woman that I came across when I got here, the woman that I started telling my story to…was my real mother.”
I looked at him with tears in my eyes. I had never heard of such determination. “I saw you on the street that day.” I said to him.
His expression let me know that he knew immediately what I was talking about. “I guess there is something to chance encounters, huh?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“So, what about you?” He asked. “What about your life?”
I just looked away from him in silence.
“You don’t have to tell me.” He said. “I understand.”
I looked down. “It’s just that, my life wasn’t quite as proper as yours. I um…I have had to be taught by life, not really by school or anything like that. It was really hard. I’m not really a person who has had nice things. I have had to take whatever was given to me. I have had to survive the best that I can. There is not much to tell.”
He looked at me with concern. “Monica, you’re already the strongest person I know. Yeah, I may have had a great education, and parents in the professional field, and a pretty easy going life, but it still wasn’t perfect. No one’s life is perfect. It doesn’t matter who you are, it doesn’t matter what kind of life you live, you still have hard times and moments that make you feel like you have to struggle to survive. We’re all just human beings. We’re all just people on this earth that will one day leave it. Don’t feel any less than who you are just because you feel like you didn’t have the greatest of things. Life is not all about what you have. It’s not all about your money, or your house, or your clothes, or your job, or your great education. Life is about the greatness placed within your heart and what you do with it. It’s about using your greatness to be a blessing to someone else. A homeless man may have nothing, but he can tell a joke and make you laugh. Laughter is greatness and that greatness is priceless. Don’t degrade yourself. You’re a kind, strong survivor. You have to believe that. You can’t allow yourself to walk around in this world thinking that the person beside you is better than you are because he or she may have nicer things. It’s the treasures in your heart and soul that count in this life, Monica, no matter what anyone else in this world may tell you.”
I didn’t expect that answer. He was so kind and understanding. All I could do was just look at him, and I thank God that he came.
“If there is one thing I have learned in this life, Monica, it’s that we all are more alike than we are different. People walk around noticing all the differences , and it’s all these differences that cause us to be separated. No, we may not be the same in every way and sure there are things we will disagree about, but really…..really, we all live under the same big sky. We all have to look at the same sun and the same moon. We all have to breathe the same air, and you know, it’s red blood flowing through all of our veins. We all live so that means that one day, we all have to die.”
He didn’t judge me. He wasn’t disappointed in me. He wasn’t ashamed of me. For the few minutes that he knew me, he saw the good in me.
“I thank God that you’re here, Landon. I really do.”
He smiled. “Well, there is another journey. There is someone else.”
I was confused a little. What was he trying to say?
He took a deep breath. “I finally found a Steven Corbin located a few miles outside of the city.”
I became anxious. “A few miles outside of the city? Like maybe somewhere near here?”
“Well, somewhat. It’s quite a distance still, but you see…”
He paused for a minute. I couldn’t take the silence.
“What Landon? What is it?”
“He’s in a mental hospital.”
My heart sank.
“I went in to try and talk to him. It took a while to get past the staff. You see no one ever came to visit him. They said he just showed up there one day, and out of charity they decided to help him. They didn’t know about his family, and with me having a different last name, well….it was difficult. I had to show proof of being adopted and things. They just…”
“Did you see him?”
He stopped and looked at me.
“Yes. Yes, I saw him.”
Tears came from my eyes. “W-what, h-how…did he say anything?”
“I told him who I was. He just gave me this look. He didn’t say anything.”
I just sat back and stared into the distance.
“We can go and see him in two days. I am staying at a hotel down the street. I will come back in two days to get you and Laura. We will go and visit him, then I’d like for the two of you to meet my family. We can arrange for you to stay somewhere near us, if you’d like.”
I looked over at him. It all was so overwhelming. “Yes.” I said in such a low voice.
“It’s going to be okay, Monica. It will, I promise.”
He said as he got up and walked off the porch towards his car.
If ever there is promise in my life that would need to be kept, it would be this one.
Goodnight,
Monica
